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Bitchpolar (A summary or an epilogue depending on how you want to think about yourself or myself)

from Huh? by The Blank String Sextet

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about

this track is waaaaay too personal. i got uncomfortably specific in it but i really don't mind. kinda hope that no one catches on. i mean no one i know catches on.

Credit to Daniel Iverson for "Spirit of the Living God"

Also, I know that the title should just be what the title is, but I needed to put that in parenthesis because it is an important part of the story and no one is going to actually read this part so I couldn't put it here.

lyrics

I'm sure I said I love you
But I was younger then
No one felt pain like I did
I did and didn't win

And so we meet at night now
Only me and a lack of friends
You sleep while I dance with you
Your in and in and in and in bed

I'll keep all the windows wide open
Maybe someone can catch a glimpse of true lust

And now out of the way is the risk of taking my innocence
I grow without you now I'm ashamed to show my skin again
"Sarah, maybe we're not meant to be"
I laughed and laughed and laugh still

I'll keep all the windows wide open
Maybe someone can catch a glimpse of true lust
The window's wide open
Take the risk, take the jump

Since the shore of a whore sits below me now
Drain me of my purpose
I'll sit like the grasshoppers
To just be smashed

You laugh at my word choice but it's appropriate
I'd give my life to get laid
And I hate what I am for thinking that
I wish I wasn't myself

Hang me
The windows wides open

Fuck fashion statements! I'm the king of the world!
Maybe Hannah can be another replacement. which one?
Now they're tied together but one's left out
I owe one myself and the other only owes me everything (underneath the sun)

Stop watching me lose my mind and turn your head to the TV

You've read the signs
Disconnect your phone from my belly button
I can't charge anyone but myself anymore

You've read the signs
Disconnect your phone from my belly button
I can't charge anyone but myself anymore

(Melt me, sell me, kill me, use me
Melt me, sell me, use me, kill me)
Crashed cars- what could I expect
I'm where I thought the days would turn bright again
Trust me, dad, I'm not crying cause you get it
I only tear up cause you don't

Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh on me

I'll just beat the battle dirge
Cut my fingertips and make them bleed
She may cut me when I hide. She may saw the mirror when I glance at her

But I wish myself a place in your nest
In your selfless treasure chest, I'll rest my head

Who the hell have I been singing to in all these songs
There's no you, or she, or will-to-be
There's no you, or she, or will-to-be

Spirit of the living God, fall without me
Don't help me help me
Don't help me help me.
Give up the fight

Why are all my dreams so vivid?
I must live a double life
Just cut me cut me
Cut me cut me
Or bring me the knife

And I sit to consider by life as a hasbeen
Whereabouts and whenabouts
What's with Or within
The golden ticket promises much for good kids, but don't save the wrapper

"Forget all your drugs, take the word from above.
Your youth has only prospered, but not from good luck
You'll never be afraid"
I'm always afraid

But I sense and I sense
Some senseless symbolism
The stuff about angels and songs of Solomon
I only grasp your name
I don't know your name

Don't even know
Don't even know
Don't even know
Don't even know
Don't even know
Don't even know
Don't even know
Know your name
Don't even know
Don't even know
Don't even know
Your name

The question only stands as to what I represent
Not anything
Anything
Anything but me
Let these lyrics be
Anything but me

The question only stands as what I represent
Anyone
Anyone but me

credits

from Huh?, released March 29, 2017

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The Blank String Sextet Schenectady, New York

I mean I make what I make and don't make whatever

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